Acne Rant

Watching this video really brings back all the memories during my 'dark' period. Please watch this if you too are suffering from acne.

Perhaps I had blogged about my acne problems before, I don't know and didn't bother to check back my old entries as well. After watching the video above by Cassandran Bankson, I started to check out all her other videos about her acne updates. In one of her video, she talked about how frustrated she is about her acne and how her families and others always say that they understand her feelings, but actually they don't! I can totally relate to that and all of a sudden I feel like pouring my thoughts out.

My acne started when I was 11 years old. Initially I planned to talk about how great and perfect my life was before that but let's cut the story short. My classmate once told me, "It's okay your skin will heal one day and you will be all  pretty again". Who would have thought that 'one day' actually took more than 15 years. And my skin is not even close to flawless now, but the good thing is the acne has stopped. Thank God.

I forgot how the acne started but as long as I remember, pimples started to pop up like crazy on my face. It wasn't even pimples, I think it is called cystic acne. Normal pimples are smaller in size and once it is matured, there is a whitish/ yellowish thing inside which some people will press it out or it will burst by itself. But cystic acne is like big bumps which you can't press or do anything! I used to get those huge ones with purplish/ blackish blood inside. I know it sounds gross but yeah that's what I used to have all over my face. 

Being at the young age, I have no clue of how to treat my skin. Even my parents were as clueless as me. We lived in a small town with limited facilities and financially we couldn't afford to seek treatment. Internet was not even available at my home back then. So what my parents could do is ask me to wash my face regularly, follow whichever traditional methods which they 'think' might be helpful and control my diet. 

As if having acne is not frustrating enough, parents and relatives just can't stop giving comments, complaining and sighing at my face. Not forgetting their friends too. Wherever I go, there will be someone commenting or giving me weird looks. Is it my fault that I have acne? Well they used to said that I got acne because I never take care of my skin that's why. How ridiculous is that? Until a point of time, I started to look down whenever I walk so that nobody will see my face and I try to avoid mirrors, face to face contacts etc. Basically I had turned into a pessimistic person with super super low self esteem and zero confidence. 

That's how I spent my teenage years, dealing with peoples' comments and opinions and living in a world where nobody can understand. 

I strongly agree with Cassandra that whoever claims that they understand how do we feel, they actually don't. How can they possibly understand it if they have never been through it before? I couldn't even describe how miserable it is. 

Grandma used to ask me to follow her skincare routine which basically apply her trusty Hazeline Snow on the face to sorta cool down the face and stop the acne. Of course that's not what Hazeline Snow does lar but back then I just followed since I know nuts about skincare. And it doesn't work. Then mom asked me to follow her routine and use 'bedak sejuk' to dry up the acne. It is powder but made into little 'chocolate chips' shape. Mix some water with it and apply to the face. After few minutes it will dry up and you will look like ju-on :x The powder is very drying but at the same time it dries up the skin. So basically these are not the correct methods to treat acne. I started to use Neutrogena Cleanser since secondary and after a couple of years, I think my acne had stopped. I don't think is the cleanser though but I just got older and no longer 'ching chun' LOL. Please if you can afford, find a dermatologist and don't simply try things. Otherwise, do a lot of research before you try a product.

In the beginning of this year, I started to get many bumps again on my face; cheeks, chin, forehead. They just kept coming one after another. I couldn't figure out why so I went to a friend who is a beauty consultant to let her fix my skin. But let me tell you that beauty facials are only works for people who has no skin problems and wanted to keep their skin clean and healthy. If you have acne, first you have to treat it and make sure your skin is stable before you go to any beauty centre. What they generally do is clean and massage the face. If there is a pimple or acne, they will prick it and it hurts like hell. Then it will leave a big holes on your face.

Honestly I have no confidence with beauticians. Until a fine day I went to Sephora to get some mineral make ups for my face. Then there was this SA who recommended me Mario Badescu products to treat my acne. He also explained to me what could possibly caused the breakout. When he tried to remove my make up, he said that my foundation is very stubborn and super hard to remove. That could be the reason why I was breaking out like mad. Dirty face, clog pores, breakout.. it all make sense to me. Immediately I stopped using the foundation and I make sure my face is properly clean after I applied make up. Voila, my breakout stopped and my skin is kinda settled down. 

Such a long rambling post so I will talk about my personal experience with Mario Badescu products in other post. If you are also having acne problems, please please do not simply listen to others and try on any products. Each products work differently for different people. So better understand your own skin and condition before putting something on the face. Good luck!